I am puke
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
