she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
