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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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