Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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