Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
