K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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