dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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