how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
only if we run a train.
done.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
