If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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