absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I just sharted jello shots
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