Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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