Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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