i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
