If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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