his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
