did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
