I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
