i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
