I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
