he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
