He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
