ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
