me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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