you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
