There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
