feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
