i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
