Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
