If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm at about main and main street
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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