Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
