6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
