Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What a dumb baby whore.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
