I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
