Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
