How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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