At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize