if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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