Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
