did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I smell stomach acid.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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