what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
