How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
