I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
