I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
