too bad you live with your parents still
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
