I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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