So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
