The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
