thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
