woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
