he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
