Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
