it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
