So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
